One of the main core tenets of punk is the ability to impress others with the knowledge of iconic albums from the genre. But then again, listening to all of these records to get you to that point can be time-consuming. After all, some of these punk albums are upwards of 28-minutes long. So put down the record player, disable your Spotify account, and start faking it until you make it with these 30 legendary punk albums.
30. Sex Pistols “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols” (1977)
The Sex Pistols only released one album, which means you can get through their entire discography quicker than an episode of “Love Island.” However, only one of these pieces of media has hot people in it. Easy choice.
29. Mission of Burma “Vs.” (1982)
There’s always a good excuse to avoid catching up on historic punk albums like this Mission of Burma one. For instance, some of us have responsibilities. Sure, punks don’t. But theoretically they could.
28. Ramones “Ramones” (1976)
No punk band is more legendary than this one. They used to be a staple at CBGBs, which means you could probably just buy a shirt of the legendary venue at Urban Outfitters for 60 bucks and pretend you know what “CBGB OMFUG” actually stands for. Don’t worry, no one truly does.
27. Dead Kennedys “Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables” (1980)
DK is famous for their political stances and messaging, but we’re still experiencing the same issues and the effects of Reagan-era economics today, so how effective could this band have possibly been? Maybe just skim this one.
26. Dead Boys “Young, Loud and Snotty” (1977)
This album is a cult classic so it’s anyone’s guess if it’s actually good. Let’s just say hypothetically it is. Does that mean it’s better than scrolling TikTok for the same duration it takes to complete the record? One can never know for sure.
25. The Damned “Damned Damned Damned” (1977)
This album is actually quite good. But don’t let that fool you. You don’t have to actually listen to it. It’s not like it’s Turnstile good.
24. Crass “The Feeding of the 5000” (1978)
There are only so many hours in a day. How can we be expected to listen to iconic punk albums when we all have to work three jobs to live slightly above the poverty line? This is a world Crass was trying to warn us about, I think.
23. The Clash “London Calling” (1977)
You’ve probably accidentally listened to the Clash on the radio, over the PA at Trader Joe’s, Aldi’s, or even Whole Foods. This is how classic punk music is meant to be consumed. Not on vinyl.
22. Fugazi “13 Songs” (1989)
Sure, “Waiting Room” rules, so if you’d heard it at least 13 times in your life it’s like you’ve adjacently listened this album in its entirety. That’s probably good enough.
21. The Exploited “Punk’s Not Dead” (1981)
You’ve come this far in life to have never listened to the Exploited. There’s no reason to start now. It’s too late for you. Punk should be discovered when you’re 12 years old, not 37. Unfortunately, those are the rules.
20. Fear “The Record” (1982)
Pretending to enjoy a particular type of music is all fun and games until you meet someone who can call you out on your bullsh*t. Luckily, no one has listened to “The Record” since the ‘80s or dare I say 1996 so you’re good.
19. Flipper “Generic” (1982)
This album is always on those “greatest punk albums of all time” lists but it has zero streams on Spotify. Not sure if that part’s actually a fact because no one ever thinks to check. Still, it’s venerable, so we’ve heard. That’s all anyone needs to know.
18. X “Los Angeles” (1980)
You can’t become a fan of punk music overnight. You have to make it your entire thing, dress a very specific way, and most importantly be able to name three songs from every punk band that’s ever existed. There’s nothing in the rule book about actually listening to punk music to say you like punk music though. That’s a loophole in the current system. It’s like how you used to memorize facts about the Revolutionary War in middle school without actually knowing any of the root causes.
17. Wire “Pink Flag” (1977)
This album came out 47 years ago. That’s equivalent to releasing a record today and trying to listen to it in 2071. By then we’ll all be dead, which is great news if you want to avoid hearing “Pink Flag” in its entirety.
16. Social Distortion “Social Distortion” (1990)
Singer Mike Ness once stopped a show to punch a MAGA guy in the face. That’s more than enough data to impress your peers and distract them from the fact that you do not know who the hell this band is.
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